Woman Bans Teen Daughter from Visiting Friend’s House After Friend’s Mom Buys Her a Dress a Size Too Small So That She ‘Has Something to Work Towards,’ Warping Her Body Image

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Oct 17, 2024 6:00 PM EDT

Welcome, wonderful women of the internet. It is interesting how we all develop and mature at different paces. I was already boy crazy by the time I was nine or ten years old - granted, the boys in question were Draco Malfoy from the Harry Potter franchise and Legolas from The Lord of the Rings and not so much my immature elementary school classmates. There are young women who make it well into their teens before they start feeling any sort of romantic or physical attraction to other people. That is perfectly okay. What is not okay is forcing these girls to fit the mold of what society thinks a teenage girl should be and act like and teaching them that they should (and should want to) objectify themselves for the attention of boys.

In our story today, a woman crosses a massive red line when she buys her daughter's friend a dress in a size too small so that she 'has something to work towards.' If the body shaming wasn't enough, when the girl's mother confronts this woman, she defends her position, claiming that her daughter does not get enough male attention. Scroll down for the full story.

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  • 01
    r/Amlthe u/LifeWasAWilloww . 14h AITA for making my daughter take a break from going to her best friend's house because the mom purposely bought her a smaller size dress?
    via u/LifeWasAWilloww
  • 02
    About two weeks ago my 14 year old daughter Bonnie was out shopping with her best friend Gigi and Gigi's mom Lauren. While they were out, Lauren bought them both dresses she thought were cute. Except she bought Bonnie a size 3. Bonnie said she picked out one that was her size, but Lauren put it back and said that the size 3 one would be her "aspirational" dress to work towards fitting into.
    via u/LifeWasAWilloww
  • 03
    When she came home, she gave it to me and was upset but also didn't want to say anything bad about Gigi's mom, which I get. First off, Bonnie is a HEALTHY girl. Gymnastics until she was about 11 (and grew several inches), dance in the fall and track in the spring, all her choices. So she's got an athletic build. Gigi is a small girl, barely 5 feet, and so I thought at first she got them mixed up. She told me that Gigi's mom got it for her to aspire to try to get into by "working hard."
    via u/LifeWasAWilloww
  • 04
    I said I'd take care of it and get her the right size. The next day, I called Gigi's mom Lauren and asked her why she would do that. She explained that she thought it would give Bonnie something to work towards, because she heard Bonnie saying she didn't get asked out last year but Gigi had several boys after her and that it seemed like it upset her.
    via u/LifeWasAWilloww
  • 05
    I told her it was inappropriate and asked her why she would tell a kid she needed to lose weight in order to get attention from boys? She got defensive and said that it was obviously embarrassing for Bonnie to not have boys into her when all her friends do.
    via u/LifeWasAWilloww
  • 06
    She basically said I'm holding Bonnie back from growing up-like I won't help her with boys, won't drop hundreds at Sephora, still dress her like a kid, and buy B&BW sprays instead of fancy perfumes. She said it's messing with Bonnie socially and that she's the only one in her friend group who hasn't had a boyfriend. Then she got personal and said just because I've "given up" and stopped trying doesn't mean I have to turn Bonnie into a nun.
    via u/LifeWasAWilloww
  • 07
    FOR THE RECORD, this is partially true. But it's also because Bonnie doesn't WANT that stuff. I have offered to get her more than Cetaphil skincare and she doesn't want it. She got straight As last year and I took her to Ulta for a "spree" and sall she wanted was some lip gloss and then ASKED for the body spray instead.
    via u/LifeWasAWilloww
  • 08
    I said that it's time for a break. The girls can still hang out, but I don't want Bonnie at Gigi's house. Bonnie got upset over it and I can deal with that. Gigi's mom however has gone NUCLEAR over it, spreading poison everywhere she can about me being "psycho" and doubling down on how it's all because I don't want my daughter to be happy with a boyfriend when I'm single and "no man would touch me." Which is just... childish. And I've been shocked to see how other people have reacted to this, so
    via u/LifeWasAWilloww
  • 09
    NTA Apart-Ad-6518 • 14h Commander in Cheeks [248] I told her it was inappropriate and asked her why she would tell a kid she needed to lose weight in order to get attention from boys? Exactly that. Egregious behavior. She shouldn't be saying anything about your daughter's weight or appearance.
    via u/Apart-Ad-6518
  • 10
    Gigi's mom however has gone NUCLEAR over it, spreading poison everywhere she can about me being "psycho" and doubling down on how it's all because I don't want my daughter to be happy with a boyfriend when I'm single and "no man would touch me." Please do not allow someone as toxic & vicious as this to cause you to doubt your parenting or yourself. It's reasonable to let the girls hang out and equally so not to have your daughter go to this woman's house. No way should that happen. Reply 3 8k
    via u/Apart-Ad-6518
  • 11
    Buffy11bnl • 12h Yes to all of this, and if anyone brings it up to you I would simply say, "Gigi's mom has been encouraging my daughter to develop an eating disorder, and as a responsible parent I won't allow my child to knowingly interact with adults who wish to harm her."
    via u/Buffy11bnl
  • 12
    There is a lot more I could say, but it would get me banned so just definitely NTA, and do not back down. It takes almost no time at all to convince a teenage girl she is "wrong" in some way and it takes a lifetime to try to convince them that it is not true (if you even can!) 2 3.7k
    via u/Buffy11bnl
  • 13
    Amizala • 10h This is a perfect response if the other parents side with Gigi's mom. NTA for looking out for your daughter, as any responsible parent should do. . . . 383
    via u/Amizala
  • 14
    CuriousEmphasis7698 • 14h Partassipant [4] NTA. Gigi's mom is toxic. This is not someone you want your daughter exposed to or associating with. She's 14, she is still a kid. It is not 'messing with her socially' to treat her in an age-appropriate way. Gigi's Mom's implication that your daughter needs to lose weight is also beyond unacceptable. Her own kid is probably on her way to an eating disorder, you don't want your daughter in that boat. Reply 1.9k
    via u/CuriousEmphasis7698
  • 15
    Select-Promotion-404 13h • Time for OP to go nuclear back and clarify the situation on social media. Not all girls have to fall in line like every OTHER girl. Why are we doing this to ourselves??? Women should embrace other women wanting to be individuals. Saying Gigi's mom is toxic is an understatement. 491
    via u/Select-Promotion-404
  • 16
    cheerful_cynic • 10h Lauren is trying to live vicariously through her young teen by imposing "boy crazy" characteristics on them. Yikes for prioritizing male validation ... 182
    via u/cheerful_cynic
  • 17
    Permit-Extreme-117. 9h With a mother like that her daughter probably thinks she has no worth if she doesn't have a boyfriend, and then add in the superficial body nonsense and that poor girl is going to have sooo many issues in future ("you should buy her perfume so she's more appealing!" - jeez). She'll think any criticism and mistreatment she recieves from others is deserved. 59
    via u/Permit-Extreme-117
  • 18
    lilolememe • 14h Pooperintendant [52] Lauren is a gossip and a bully. You can't control what other people think about you or say about you. It's a life lesson to teach your daughter. Hold your head high. If anyone tries to talk about it to you, simply explain you're choosing not to allow any woman to fat shame your daughter by buying her clothes that are too small for her and telling her she needs to lose weight to please boys. You find the behavior abhorrent, and you are protecting your daughte
    via u/lilolememe
  • 19
    You're doing a great job. Your daughter may not appreciate it now, but she will as she gets older. Why on earth any woman is pushing for 13-14 year old girls to have boyfriends is beyond me. What the ? ← Reply 930
    via u/lilolememe
  • 20
    Easton_HJE ⚫ 14h . NTA, but Gigi's mom is. She should NEVER comment on a young girls body like that. First off, it's none of her business's. Your daughter is 14, she doesn't need to be worried about boys right now. She's a KID. There's no rush for her to grow up. You did the right thing by keeping her away from Gigi's mom. Reply ↑ 366
    via u/Easton_HJE
  • 21
    Malibu Cola • 14h . Partassipant [4] NTA. That was wildly inappropriate to get the wrong. sized dress and basically implying there was something wrong with Bonnie's body size. Poor Gigi. If Bonnie only had to deal with this one day, I can only imagine what Gigi has to go through! I hope Bonnie is doing ok! Reply 305
    via u/Malibu_Cola
  • 22
    DGhost Aunt • 13h Right? The girl is a size 4! That is not remotely overweight and even if she was her mom had no business doing it. She can ruin her own kid if she wants but she should leave other kids alone. Д 108
    via u/DGhostAunt
  • 23
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    via u/LifeWasAWillow
  • 24
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  • 25
    CapoExplains • 14h Enthusiast [9] NTA good lord it is absolutely wild to me that an adult woman would teach a 14 year old girl that she has to sculpt her body for male attention. it's the 2020s not the 1920s. Absolutely Edit: and I mean fourteen. even if it was the 1920's she's Reply 118 ⇓
    via u/CapoExplains

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